Dealing with Family at Weddings
This past weekend I was the matron of honor in my best friend’s wedding. The wedding itself was wonderful, but all of the drama leading up to the wedding (and even a little afterwards) was a bit crazy. Yes, every wedding has drama, but this was just a little ridiculous. The behavior of the groom’s father and his family left my friend (the bride) incredibly stressed out by the time Friday’s rehearsal dinner rolled around.
If you are planning a wedding and have some opinionated family members involved, the tips below should help you out.
- Get on the same page with your future spouse. Generally, potential problems between you and family (or soon-to-be-family) will begin show early in the planning stage. Don’t hesitate to tell your fiancé what is going on. After all, you are marrying your best friend, right? It’s important that you both get on the same page about the situation as soon as possible so you can both present a united front to your family regarding the decisions you’re making about the wedding. Why a united front? More than likely, these family members will try to speak with each of you separately because they think it will give them a better opportunity to win you over to their way of thinking.
- Don’t tell them everything. One of the problems that contributed to my friend’s wedding was how much information the groom’s family was given. It wasn’t because the bride and groom were just offering up information willingly, they were put on the spot several times and asked specific questions that, frankly, didn’t have any business being asked. To prevent this from happening, set up a game plan from the very beginning with your fiancé and determine how you will respond to questions about the wedding that you don’t want to answer. Just because you are planning a wedding, doesn’t mean everyone needs to know how you’re doing everything or when everything is occurring.
- Stand firm in your decisions. Finally, don’t be afraid to stand firm in the decisions that you and your fiancé make regarding your wedding. This is YOUR day. Your parents, grandparents and other family members have all had the chance to plan their own wedding – they don’t need to plan yours. And, for those of you with younger family member who are trying to interfere, they will have a chance to plan their own wedding – so don’t feel obligated to please them with your wedding. That’s the biggest issue many people face when planning weddings…trying to please everyone. The only two people who need to be happy with the wedding plans are the bride and groom. Therefore, stand firm in your decisions.